I Know More About It than You Do

My friends have been after me for a while to do a blog. In my little circle of women friends, I seem to be the person they go to with questions about etiquette. They call me “Ms. Manners.” So I’ve decided to share my expertise with the world. I don’t claim to be Judith Martin, or Emily Post. I hope everyone will refer to her own copy of their illustrious books for answers to the big questions. I know my three-inch thick copy is well-thumbed, as I’m sure yours is. But there are some issues I’d like to speak to.

However, since I’m not one-dimensional, I’m not going to limit it to just manners. There are lots of other standards I’d like to raise. (Play-on-words intended.) I notice lots of things. Bad driving, sloppy fashion mistakes, speaking incorrectly, stupid movie plots, male-chauvinist pigs. You know what I mean.

It seems like everyday I notice something that someone does wrong. I’m going to take this space to show you your mistakes. Don’t worry, I won’t name names, unless you want me to. I know I was thrilled the first time Steph (oops, I named her) referred to me in her blog. (see stephaniesays.net). Steph writes funny stories about her life. I first appear in the one called “Downtown Gainesville on a Monday Night.” My other friend Lynn (oops, there I go again) has one at penlovespaper.blogspot.com. Lynn is an amazing crafter and her blog always astounds me. Then there’s Alisa’s (damn it, I can’t seem to shake this habit.) I am very envious of the title she chose: everydayfeminist.com. I can only hope that my blog turns out half as good as theirs.

Now, before you start ranting at me, I realize that you’re going to rant at me. I fully expect to have blistering responses to my freely given constructive advice. I know you don’t like it when I point out your short-comings. But somebody has to, so I’ve decided that it will be me. Go ahead, flame me. It’s ok. I know you feel the need to blame someone. I will calmly pat you on the shoulder, and tell you it will all be ok. As long as you stop doing what’s offending your fellow earthlings, that is.

You just have to remember, I know more about it than you do.